Reflections: How will you be remembered?

by Lee Kolinsky

Personal history is a funny thing. It makes up everything that you are and helps determine everything you will be. However, only you know your history and you're the only one responsible for it, unless you're famous in some way and then you have a biographer.

That brings me to the existence of a regular person and the fleeting history known as ones life. How do you keep the memory of yourself alive when you're long gone? What's the best medium to do leave your mark on this world?
You can write in journals, tape video diaries, and take hundreds of photos of yourself. Do they really cut it? Whether your life is on DVD, in a diary, or in a photo album, one hopes the next generations pick these items up and find a way to connect emotionally. However, most people don't really delve into their past unless it's easy. So the DVD may be a good way to try unless someone scans through to the good parts. In any case, most people will likely get the Cliffs notes for their family tree.
With computers and that thing called the world-wide-web, social networking web sites are popping up all over the place. MySpace, Facebook, and Twitter are just a few that give the opportunity for anyone to can catch up with lost buddies, reconnect with family members, post photos of your life, and make comments about anything and everything.
But are these web sites something you want your future family members to read. I'm not sure if I want my ancestors finding out that my last post on Facebook was "Lee had the best Turkey sandwich ever!" I don't even want my kid seeing that when she becomes of web savvy age.
Though, if your ancestor did find you on one of these social web sites, they would probably find out what your favorite movies, books, and music were. It gives that human side of your personality to the reader. Maybe your ancestor would feel closer to you. Most likely these web sites will be outdated in the next 50 years and if someone looked you up, essentially you may be just name listing, not unlike the phone book.
So how does one really connect with several future generations and without being an important figure in history? I guess you can keep on naming the next family member after yourself. But who would want to be named Lee Kolinsky the 19th. That doesn't really have a ring to it and how deeply can you be connected to the first one. I doubt the 19th would care.
I guess a headstone would cut it, if you don't exaggerate like the father Royal in the film
Royal Tenenbaums, who had engraved: "Died tragically rescuing his family from the remains of a destroyed sinking battleship." It didn't happen. Royal was more of a deadbeat dad. Besides, how often do you find yourself at a relative's gravesite from 100 years ago anyway?
Maybe it does come down to a few simple words on the family tree of Cliffs notes. A piece of paper you can add to and pass from generation to generation. Birth, death, and name. Who knows? If you're really lucky, you may even get a cool adjective to describe you. Then again, not everyone can be known as being perfect.

By Lee Kolinsky

Finding the proper day care for my child has been a challenge to say the least. We started about six months before our Julie was born. Even though our friends told us to start earlier because in New York you have to be on a list for about a year before you get accepted. And that's after you pay for being on the day care waiting list.

We looked for day care in the Union Square and East Village areas of New York City, as well as in Brooklyn/Williamsburg. This was our radius for being close to work and to where we live. Although we found a place in the Union Square, the price was $1650 a month. Not that that is the worst thing in the world, but it is quite pricey. But overlooking the price, we had to wait on the list for over a year before we had even got the call that a spot was available.

When we thought we found a suitable place in Williamsburg, we were soon told that we'd have to drop off Julie around 8 a.m. and pick her up at 2 p.m. Most working people I know have to be at the office around 8 or 9 a.m. and usually don't come home until 5,6,7, p.m. So that was out.

Our other option was to find day care through a (nanny or babysitter), whichever politically correct term you feel comfortable with. I didn't even know there was a difference, but from what I'm hearing there is one. In Williamsburg, a babysitter is the thing to do since day care centers are limited.

The search for a nanny began with going on web sites and forums. At the time we found a baby nurse for when Julie was born. We needed the extra help for the week to get situated. It should be noted that if you can find someone to help for a week, it would be the best thing possible. At least for us it was a blessing.

Our baby nurse (Sara) was great. She cleaned cooked and took care of Julie from the get go. She even taught us how to use the many baby items we received. When the time for Sara to leave was near we though that she would make a great nanny, so we asked and Sara accepted. Her salary was about $425 a week coming to a whopping $1700 a month. It is more than my rent and if we bought a place it would probably be a mortgage payment. But for our Julie price was no object, well it was actually.

The perks Sara was to receive included two weeks vacation, one being the week of Christmas when my office closed, and every other holiday throughout the year. Sick days were also included in this package. When I found out Sara was an avid reader, I provided her with many free books. I am in an industry where I receive them at no or little cost.

Sara began work four months after Julie was born. It was in September and it started off great. She took great care of our little one while we were at work. Sarah even babysat while we went out for dinner or the movies.

When the holidays started to roll around she asked us if her kids could come to work with her for the month of December. She didn't have anyone to baby-sit her kids while she worked. Sara is from Trinidad and her daughters still lived there while she was in America with her husband. Our apartment is quite small and we were worried about having two more children would crowd the place, we told her it would be fine to have them come over. Her daughters are 14 and 9.

It was great to meet Sara's children and we were happy to have them over. However, the 9-year old had a cough and we quickly became worried that our Julie would catch it. Sara reassured us that her daughter only had a cough and she was taking a West Indian cough medicine. It didn't seem to work, so we recommended a brand that we knew would keep the cough minimal.

Being concerned parents, we did tell Sara to try to keep her daughter separated from our Julie. It may be an overprotective parent thing, but Julie is our first child and we didn't want her getting sick.

As the month rolled along I came home a little earlier each day so Sara could leave a little earlier and spend time with her children. We didn't even go out on the town during this time. When the week of Christmas came around, we gave her the week off because I didn't have to work and our home seemed to be over crowded at this point.

After the New Year Sara's children went back to Trinidad and we were happy they had left our home. We wished her kids could stay in America, but we were glad that they were out of the apartment. Our home was ours again! Plus we were looking forward to a romantic night out.

But things got in the way. Sarah took a night job for two week and we didn't have a back up for babysitting. This would make it a month in a half without going out for some us time. We only have one pair of parents that can function with a baby and they live an hour away. Luckily they came out and babysat for the night.

With the two weeks coming to a close at Sara's night job, she got sick and didn't come in for two days. That meant we had to take two days off from work as well. We all get sick sometime. Sara finally came back after the second day and told us her father, who lives in Trinidad was sick.

He is a diabetic and wasn't in the best of condition. That weekend he went into diabetic shock. Sara told us she would be leaving for Trinidad and would be back in two weeks. She had asked us to hold her job.

Sara was great with Julie. They had a lot of fun and she was a nice person. We told her we would hold the position for her and that she should call us to let us know what was going on. In the mean time we interviewed a few baby sitters to help out while Sara was gone.

We didn't expect to hear from Sara the first week, but as the second week was flying by we were expecting a call. We called her on a Wednesday and then Friday. No word. Sara had told us her flight back was on the Saturday. We called her again on Sunday. Hearing nothing we eventually called Sara's sister, who lives in our area. She is also a babysitter and Sara had given us her number as a back up. We didn't use her for the two weeks because she didn't have the best of reputations and we wanted to save some cash.

When we called her sister, she said that Sara was still in Trinidad and may not come back for another two weeks. The sister also told us that Sara tried to call us, but something was wrong with the phone lines in her country. We figured that was malarkey.

Sara just disappeared from us. A phone call would have been nice. For her not to get word was simply not right. We probably would have held the job for her if she said she was going to be with her father longer. But that didn't happen.

Currently, we have been scrambling for new day care situation. We have some interviews coming up and I'm sure we will find someone. It's just a shame. I know it was probably just a job for Sara, but we let her and her family into our home for about five months. I think that qualifies for a phone call, not a disappearance.

A Little Like Jessie James

By Lee Kolinsky

When I was a kid, I always wanted to rob a bank. I guess it looked great in the movie Westerns. I know the endings for most of robberies weren't picture perfect, but I thought of myself as a Jessie James kind of thief. I even thought of a plan on how to steal from my local branch. All I needed were the trusty band of ragtag kids on my block. But it never happened and my fantasy of ending up in Hawaii with a margarita in my hand and a bunch of cash in my pocket was left to my dear friends in Hollywood.

Then almost a year ago, a large gift was deposited into my bank account. The gift of 20,000 appeared out of nowhere. It happened to be electronic mistake on the part of a teller. All of a sudden the dream of robbing a bank came flashing back to me, like when I was young boy.

Why did the money appear? Should I buy a car, a house, or make a run to Vegas? Should I close my account and go on the lam? The thought of telling the bank they made a mistake never even crossed my mind. I think that was wannabe bank robber in me. But the big question of going to jail if I took it did.

So I debated and spoke to a few people about it. Surprisingly enough, many of them told me not to take the money. "They'll find it," said People. "They always do." However, a few said that I should take the money and run. "They'll have to track you down," said Other People. "They'll never catch you." But no matter how many people I spoke to about the situation said to tell the bank they made a mistake.

I finally decided that the best thing to do was a finder's keeper rule. If the cash stayed in my account for a year, then it was mine for the taking and they weren't entitled to have it anymore. I figured out the mistake was due to CD I transferred. The teller transferred it twice.

As I waited, I started to take money out the bank that was originally mine. A couple of thousand dollars here, a couple of thousand dollars there. My idea was that if at some point during the year the bank actually found out about their mistake, they would be able to get all their money back without accusing me of stealing it.

With months in the bag and the one-year over the horizon, the market plummeted and companies started to go bankrupt and lose billions of dollars. I guess that's why the found it. For seven long months the cash was in my account. It was sweet to fantasize what I was going to do with it for that long, but it wasn't meant to be. And that ended my fantastical adventures of being just like Jessie James.

Doubleday - Discover the Hidden Landmarks of New York

By Lee Kolinsky
Take a mystical journey and discover the hidden gems of an unseen New York that only few know about. This ultimate guide provides more than just basic outer borough places on the map. It reveals a stunning collection of hundreds of unique areas in New York, including houses dating back to the Dutch, yellow brick roads, and Churches that more resemble spaceships.
While New York constantly changes and reinvents itself with new innovations that keep up with the times, pieces of history are fortunately left untouched. These valuable structures, street signs, rusty lampposts, give a unique insight into what was there before.
Sheep and goats in Queens? Homes on stilts? They can all be found in the five boroughs. From the world’s first hall of fame in the Bronx to an old age home in Staten Island, Forgotten New York features a treasure trove of historical finds.
This is the only guidebook to thoroughly cover all five boroughs, complete with walking tours and hundreds of maps and photos. Engage in all of the facets these boroughs have to offer and catch a glimpse of how New York should be really seen.

Village Voice - Best Outdoor Personal Trainer in McCarren Park

He's motivational, inspirational, and has been offering his “Traditional Tribal Fitness” classes at the McCarren Park track for the past four years. Kwesi Kiki Ananyi, a certified personal trainer and former art book vendor at Astor Place, is becoming a local phenomenon as loyal followers congregate from the boroughs and tri-state area to lose weight and strengthen the body.
Perhaps it‚s his life-affirming philosophy that makes Kiki‚s classes so contagious. "Exercise is love, discipline and patience. If you don‚t have patience, you can't achieve your goals, he says emphatically. The basic workout technique doesn’t require traditional weights or machines from a gym. All one needs is their own bodyweight, a jump rope and a yoga mat."
Kiki currently offers daily regimens for over 60 clients. Kim Busby, a High School English teacher in Brooklyn, has been training with Kiki since January.Sometimes you can be here up to three hours, said Busby. „He always finds something to encourage you with. He always makes you feel your effort is valued.
A native of West Ghana, Kiki‚s presence is magnetic. „There‚s a saying, when the student is ready, the teacher will appear, said Christy Goldfeder, a marketing writer and holistic health counselor of Williamsburg.
The yearlong outdoor motivational exercise classes are held every day in McCarren Park from 5am-11am and 4pm-8pm. Free trial classes are held on Sundays from 7am-8am. McCarren Park, Brooklyn. 917-450-7991.

The Barrier Between Hollywood and the Independent: A harsh view from a Long Island Filmmaker

By Lee Kolinsky
The rage against the Hollywood machine, independent filmmaker Fred Carpenter has been punching, clawing and attempting to pry open the steel barrier that has kept out his Hollywood arrival for over a decade. With the independent market flooded by anyone that has a few hundred dollars and a camera, to big name actors appearing in their own low budget productions, the competition has forced Carpenter to push harder than ever."I'd like to say independent filmmaking means my own creative independence, but that's bullshit! It's about raising money to make a movie, because Hollywood isn't giving me a dime," Carpenter says.
In order for Carpenter to pursue his dream, he and his production partner Leonard Weintraub estimate how much money they can obtain before even looking at a script. Once that is established, they think about a concept that they know will sell."That means we want to entertain the butcher, baker and the candlestick maker. You have to make a film a distributor can sell," Carpenter explains. "They don't give a shit how artsy it is, they ask themselves if they can sell it."
Carpenter adds that when a studio makes a movie and they find a script that is under $50 million, they are already in the black and won't lose. "Ya' think about this shit. I gotta' be nuts," he says. "I'm making a car in my backyard with my friends and I think I'm gonna' compete with General Motors."
To make things more difficult for himself, Carpenter punches the keys on a typewriter when designing a screenplay and has to run down to the library if he wants to see his new web site. The director has yet to enter the world of telecommunication. He does not e-mail, carries no palm pilot, beeper or cell phone.
"I'm an independent filmmaker, who the fuck wants to call me, he says. "And when they do, I feel like I'm that blonde with big tits that some guy wants to make out with. One person told me that they admire my work and compared me to Speilberg, I'm thinking, who? Joey Speilberg.
Never the less Carpenter claims that he is "truly" in the top 10 percent of Indy filmmakers, though he can not compare to the burst of name actors starring in or producing what he calls a "Hollywood Independent." For example Carpenter is an avid viewer of The Actors Studio, hosted by Dean Lipton. As Carpenter watched an interview with Gwenyth Paltrow discussing Shakespeare in Love, a multi-million dollar film produced by the Wienstein Brothers, he discovered that his chosen industry has changed.
"An independent film is budget zero to a few hundred thousand," he explains. "The average low budget Hollywood independent is $10 million. How tough is it to work under those confines? I have to tell you, using that independent label is a great marketing tool."
Carpenter adds that independent filmmaking is Ed Wood (his idol) meets Living In Oblivion. Two references about creating a motion picture and "all the bullshit they have two go through," to get it done.
"I hear these independent filmmakers talking about who influences them," Carpenter rants. "Scorsese, Speilberg, French guys who I can't even pronounce their name. I'd love to be on the set when they start shooting. They won't admit it, but to get that production done, they are Ed Wood."
The director and his production partner have produced 12 independent films including Small Kill with Gary Burghoff (M*A*S*H*), Murdered Innocence with Jason Miller (The Exorcist,) The Inside Man, Act of Contrition and Marie. All of which have earned them both moderate successes, as well as a best director award for Marie at the Long Island International Film Expo.
The Weintraub/Carpenter team recently completed their 13th feature; The Blue Lizard, which Carpenter believes, will bash that Hollywood barrier wide open. "I wanted to make a film that could sell tickets at the box office if some company gives it a chance," Carpenter says. "I'm thinking the Sopranos with dance and a kick ass soundtrack."
The Blue Lizard's story unfolds when Nick, a mob-owned hand is sent to the current hot spot where five million dollars has been stolen. Unfortunately his ex-lover Ariana is running the club. As Nick investigates the crime, he can't control his urge to rekindle his old relationship with Ariana. The Blue Lizard is a lounge that features dancers, fire-eaters and exotic décor. According to Carpenter films such as the Lizard can be compared to Flash Dance and Saturday Night Fever with a mix of Casablanca. All films which made a dent at the box office.
"I'm surprised Hollywood hasn't made more of those types of films," he says. "I really believe [the Blue Lizard] will sell tickets at the box office."
Adding to the confident nature of the filmmaker are the people he surrounds himself with. "Leonard and I have met a lot of legends in their own mind," Carpenter says. "I mean this is the one business people love stroking their own ego. But when you get into the war zone, I have a lot of respect for those helping me."
Besides producing and directing, the single mid-forties film obsessed Carpenter acts, writes, edits and supervises over every aspect of his creation. He has a passion for any movie made in the 1970's and emphasizes it with his 2001 film Marie, about a pissed off ex-cop who hunts down some drug dealers the Charles Bronson way.
"I have made thirteen films and have sacrificed a lot. I will never see grandchildren," Carpenter says. "My mother says to me, you want to make me proud? Get married and let me die with a smile on my face. I tell her that's why I'm not married, to keep her alive."Then sometimes, with all the bullshit you have to go through to make a film and when your parents see that, they say what do you need it for? Get a simple job. Well I say, it could have been drugs or alcohol, so I'm doing the third worst thing, I'm making movies."

Village Herald -- Malverne church prepares to sue Village

As a result of its inability to receive expansion plan approval from the Malverne Architecture Review Board in a timely fashion, the Church of the Intercessor is poised to file a lawsuit against the Village. The church is seeking permits to expand their Sunday School rooms, build more office space and construct a new parking lot.
"They have been playing cat and mouse games," Ann Detiere, attorney for the church said. "There is a point when you have to get off the treadmill."
The decision to proceed with litigation against the village came after the last meeting of the architecture board on March 16, when the board neither approved nor denied the church's plans, and then simply adjourned.
According to Church of the Intercessor's Reverend Craig Bates, the church has been "running back and forth" between the architectural review board and the Zoning Board of Appeals in order to comply with village codes, satisfy local residents, and obtain the correct permits and variances they need in order to do their construction.
"We were not picking a fight," Rev, Bates said. "We wanted to cooperate. The village is just passing us on from one meeting to another," he added. "All we are meeting is hostility. It's a silly process that could be resolved so simply."
In response, Malverne Mayor Anthony Panzarella, who serves on the architectural board, noted that the church had some items in their plans that were not shown in the board's copy and the board wanted more time to review the application. He added that some board members were upset to see that their application differed from the plans, which the church had.
"I think there is plenty of room for agreement," Mayor Panzarella said. "A lawsuit would be counterproductive."
Mayor Panzarella added that the matter could be resolved quickly by having the review board examine the application, to make sure it conformed with the church's plans.
However, according to Rev. Bates, the members of the architectural review board left the March 16th meeting without requesting the specific type of changes the church should do. He added that the church is willing to "do anything" to comply with the codes.
"They're inviting litigation," Ms. Detiere said. "If they don't want to give us the permits we'll get the court to do it."
Controversy involving the church is not new to Malverne. During the past year, a dispute between the church and about 20 nearby residents has simmered. The community surrounding the church, located on St. Thomas Place, has expressed fears about increased traffic and that new bright lights in the proposed parking lot would shine into their homes. Currently, due to lack of space, the Sunday school is located across the street from the church and their offices are a few blocks away.
The church received the go-ahead from the Zoning Board of Appeals on January 27, after they revised their applications for the project.
Pursuant to Village law, once the variances were approved by the Zoning Board in January, the church had 90 days to present their case to the architectural board so they could obtain permits for the construction, Ms. Detiere said. 60 days have already past and the church has applied for an extension. At press time, a response to their extension request had not been received, according to Ms. Detiere.
"I'm not sure we will be at the April 18 architectural board meeting," Ms. Detiere said. "We could be in court by then."
The church originally wanted to construct 23 new parking spaces in a lot which will be reached via Linder Place. Since this lot lies in a Residential "B" district, zoning board approval was required. In their January 27th decision, the board scaled back the proposal back to allow seven new spaces.
"In making this decision, we believe that we have balanced the church's rights to exist and expand in our residential zones against the legitimate concerns of local residents who fear a further reduction of greenspace and an over intensification of land use," zoning board officials wrote in their ruling.
In making their decision, the zoning board indicated that there was no way to completely eliminate the impact that increased traffic and parking would have in the area, but they felt that the solution they had rendered would not significantly intrude on the current neighborhood.
When the new parking lot is constructed, a ten-foot "buffer zone" between the homes and the church will be provided and maintained by the church, said Mayor Panzarella.
The church has experienced a significant increase in membership during the past two decades. For example, in 1988, the total membership hovered between 30 and 50, while today, 650 parishioners from Malverne and surrounding communities belong to the congregation, with an average of about 500 attending the four Sunday services.
2. It might be worth it to also post selected excerpts from the "Memorandum Decision" by the appellate court (as distinguished from articles) cited in Avildsen v. Prystay, 611 N.Y.S.2d 188, 189-190 (1st Dept. 1994), as follows:
Orders, Supreme Court, New York County (Shirley Fingerhood, J.), entered March 19, 1993, June 21, 1993, October 5, 1993, and October 12, 1993, which, inter alia, after a nonjury trial, dismissed plaintiff father's complaint alleging defendant mother's breach of a compromise agreement entered into pursuant to Family Court Act $ 516 in settlement of a paternity proceeding; granted defendant judgment on her counterclaim for additional child support, transferred that counterclaim to the Family Court for further proceedings; and granted defendant judgment on her counterclaims for intentional infliction of emotional distress and malicious prosecution, awarded her $225,000 for pain and suffering and loss of earnings and referred the matter of the reasonable value of her attorneys' fees to a special referee to hear and report, unanimously affirmed, without costs.
Plaintiff's contention that defendant's counterclaim for intentional infliction of emotional distress and malicious prosecution are barred by res judicatta and the general release clause of the compromise agreement were previously raised and rejected by this Court ... Not expressly addressed in this Court's prior decisions was the question of defendant's claimed breach
of the compromise agreement, concerning which we agree with the trial court that there was no violation of the nonmolestation clause by reason of the "minor intrusion[s]" alleged. Nor did the trial court abuse its discretion in permitting defendant to amend her counterclaims for intentional infliction of emotional distress and malicious prosecution to include the present litigation itself...
The trial court's finding that plaintiff commenced this action maliciously was properly based on his "filing and vigorously litigating this action based on four de minimis contacts by [defendant] and then after eight years, withdrawing his claim for money damages" ... Legal fees and damages for emotional distress are both recoverable under a cause of action for malicious prosecution ... Inasmuch as the counterclaim for malicious prosecution supports the award of damages for emotional distress, the counterclaim for intentional infliction of emotional distress is redundant, but we should nevertheless note our agreement with the trial court's finding that plaintiff's pursuit of this litigation for eight years, withholding of support payments, and eve-of-trial withdrawal of his main claim for return of support payments he did make under the compromise agreement demonstrate a "deliberate and malicious campaign of harassment or intimidation" [citations omitted].
On the issue of defendant's damages for pain and suffering, the $225,000 award was supported by expert testimony and other proof that defendant suffered from stress, anxiety, lack of sleep, phlebitis, hair loss and inability to work resulting in significant debts to subsidize her legal costs and support the child. It was not necessary for defendant to show special damage ... [remainder excerpts omitted].